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401k Fidelity Netbenefits

investorninja_56

So, riddle me this, oh wise people of personal finance: Why does logging into my Fidelity NetBenefits 401(k) feel like I’m hacking into the Pentagon just to check if I’m still broke?

Seriously, between the password resets, “security questions” about my childhood pet’s maiden name, and the existential dread of seeing my current balance, is there a secret menu option that just sends my paycheck straight into a mattress?

Also, tell me-does anyone understand those pie charts? Or are they there just to make us feel fancy while our retirement slowly morphs into a plan for ramen noodle cuisine?

Please advise, so I can stop nervously laughing every time I see “projected retirement age: 87.”